Today started off good. I took Craig out for Black Friday….OOPS, I meant, I took him out to get his pump of chemo taken off. Driving down there I noticed all of the parking lots were full of cars with people putting things in their trucks and thought,” I wish I were in the stores with all those crazy people, running down isles, fighting over the last of everything, using my elbows to push through all the joy of the Holiday Season.” Yes I use to do that but have tapered off in the last few years. But, oh how I was wishing I were doing that instead of driving to a chemo lab.
On Wednesday when we got home from his first chemo he was able to have a good lunch. Many people were saying to me that they hoped that he would enjoy his Thanksgiving dinner. I was really thinking that there would be no problem with him getting nauseated that soon. By dinner time on the first day he didn’t want any dinner. Thanksgiving day I brought him home some dinner from our family gathering, a plate which was not much more than a young child would eat, and he was able to only eat about half. Today, the 3rd day he has eaten 2 bites of toast, 2 potato chips, 4 pretzels, and about 4 cups of liquid, which on the liquid I think is really good. YES, I think the nausea is here. But remember, one bright side in everyday, he has about 4 cups of liquid in him, and he hasn’t thrown up. I know the toast, potato chips, and pretzels are not a good diet for staying healthy, but I keep offering him things to eat and he pulls the blanket over his face and moans. Maybe he is pregnant, and it is really not cancer. The can of Ensure is coming soon.
Earlier today he and Dallin, our 12 year old son, were watching television together and Dallin ask him,” Dad did you think cancer would hurt this bad?” Craig’s reply, “Buddy I hadn’t really thought about it.”
There are many things that we really don’t think about until we are in the middle of it. We all know people that have gone through cancer and many hard things, but how often do we really think about their pain and what they really might feel like. Sure we feel bad and wish that we could take it away for them, but it doesn’t work that way. The only thing that we can do for them is give service, love and prayers, in their behalf.
We have received many of those things already. Even one amazing person that said he would trade places with Craig in a heartbeat if he could. We do have many great friends and those of you that have commented on the blog have really helped both Craig and I a lot. Remember that you never know who needs to hear what you have to say that can make a difference in their life at any given time. Words and thoughts are always needed.