Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday?

Today started off good.  I took Craig out for Black Friday….OOPS, I meant, I took him out to get his pump of chemo taken off.  Driving down there I noticed all of the parking lots were full of cars with people putting things in their trucks and thought,” I wish I were in the stores with all those crazy people, running down isles, fighting over the last of everything, using my elbows to push through all the joy of the Holiday Season.”  Yes I use to do that but have tapered off in the last few years.  But, oh how I was wishing I were doing that instead of driving to a chemo lab.

On Wednesday when we got home from his first chemo he was able to have a good lunch.  Many people were saying to me that they hoped that he would enjoy his Thanksgiving dinner.  I was really thinking that there would be no problem with him getting nauseated that soon.  By dinner time on the first day he didn’t want any dinner. Thanksgiving day I brought him home some dinner from our family gathering, a plate which was not much more than a young child would eat, and he was able to only eat about half.  Today, the 3rd day he has eaten 2 bites of toast, 2 potato chips, 4 pretzels, and about 4 cups of liquid, which on the liquid I think is really good.  YES, I think the nausea is here.  But remember, one bright side in everyday, he has about 4 cups of liquid in him, and he hasn’t thrown up.  I know the toast, potato chips, and pretzels are not a good diet for staying healthy, but I keep offering him things to eat and he pulls the blanket over his face and moans.  Maybe he is pregnant, and it is really not cancer.  The can of Ensure is coming soon.

Earlier today he and Dallin, our 12 year old son, were watching television together and Dallin ask him,” Dad did you think cancer would hurt this bad?”  Craig’s reply, “Buddy I hadn’t really thought about it.”

There are many things that we really don’t think about until we are in the middle of it. We all know people that have gone through cancer and many hard things, but how often do we really think about their pain and what they really might feel like. Sure we feel bad and wish that we could take it away for them, but it doesn’t work that way.  The only thing that we can do for them is give service, love and prayers, in their behalf. 

We have received many of those things already.  Even one amazing person that said he would trade places with Craig in a heartbeat if he could.  We do have many great friends and those of you that have commented on the blog have really helped both Craig and I a lot.  Remember that you never know who needs to hear what you have to say that can make a difference in their life at any given time. Words and thoughts are always needed.   


  1. When my sister got cancer, she said she felt like she was in her own little country (she used Iraq because it was the most foreign place she could think of). She said she had to learn a new language, a new lifestyle, etc - as if she really traveled to a new country. The difference was, everyone around her was still in the old country. It helped her a lot to talk to people who spoke the same "language" (the language of cancer) and she says it is one of those things you really can't understand unless you have it, (or are deeply entrenched in it, as you are, Marsha). So, I thought of that with this post. And when we have gone through these things (be it cancer, or any other trial), we then know better how to help others- in that way nobody has to be alone (and yes, I am sure it can feel very lonely at times - like when you see the rest of the world out Christmas shopping while you go to the Dr - and wonder how people can just be normal). We think of you all often. We love you all!

  2. Consider this a big hug from me to you and all of your family. I am thinking of you often. We forget to be thankful for the everyday things until something like this happens. It's sad when we take so much for granted. I am praying and hoping for the chemo to do its job and if there is anything you need please let me know. Love you guys!

  3. Your family is constantly in our thoughts and prayers. I drive past your house like 50 times a day (wow! that sounds like i stalk you. Ha,ha!), and wonder how you are doing and if you know how much we care for all of you. Jeff's mom's cancer has come back with vengeance within the last couple of months and it has been hard for everyone. She too is doing the chemo treatments and it breaks my heart to see the side affects. But we have hope that its doing what it is suppose to, in both situations. Please don't hesitate to ask anything of us. Know and remember that you are loved in ward/neighborhood.

  4. When my aunt went through Chemo all she wanted to eat was Frosty's. So, that is all she ate. One doctor chastised her, telling her she needed to eat healthy. Another doctor told her that if that is what she wanted to eat, and she could actually eat them then to go for it. She did.

    When Drue's mom had it for the second time a couple of years ago, (has it been that long? It seems like yesterday), it spread so quickly that she got to a place where she didn't want to eat at all.

    Marsha, I Kind of know how you felt on Black Friday. I remember driving my mother in law to some of her appointments and scans, and doctors, and sitting with her feeling so hopeless. I guess all I could do is be there with her. I wouldn't trade those days for anything, as awful as that sounds, because I had some of the most spiritual, intimate times with her that I had ever had.

    Craig, I want you to know how much I admire you, as a father, as a Bishopric member, twice, and as a husband--your messages to Marsha are priceless, and as a neighbor. I admire your strength, and especially your example. Keep fighting the fight, and know that we care.

    Marsha and kids, you are all fantastic and also in our prayers. It isn't easy, but I know each of you have what it takes to be there for each other. Any of you can call on us for anything.

    Marsha, thanks for the last couple of sentences. It is so true.

    We love you all! Shauna

  5. Rats, after a football game......looks like Black Saturday as well. Craig, stay home tomorrow, looking at Joe Partridge's red tie will just make you feel worse!
    Kim and Leslie and all the Nelson's

  6. I am grateful to have a great friend like you in my life. Thanks for sharing and putting the important things in life into perspective for the rest of us. You are in my thoughts (and prayers) and if you need me please let me know. Hug and kisses....really wet slobbery ones!


  7. Marsha and Craig----we only just found out today about your struggles. We are sorrier than we can express. We loved our association with you and your family when we lived in your neighborhood. In fact, you guys are one of the few things that we miss about Orem. Stay strong. Our thoughts and prayers are with you always. Love, Sonja and Gary Clawson